The Becks of Both Worlds

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

It's Spring!!!

I don't know about you, but to me it seemed that it took forever for Spring to arrive. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for it to arrive so that we could start enjoying the outdoors more. I've been wanting to let the kids play outside more, and I've been wanting to garden a little. 

But gardening? In an apartment? Yep. I do some small container gardening on our little porch. But I've been wanting to do more than flowers. And it took the kids' desire to plant some veggies for me to finally do something about it. So I created a "portable" raised garden bed. Sounds strange, but I had seen some ideas on Pinterest and decided to do my own take.

 I found these large bins at a tractor supply store. I originally noted those large metal watering troughs, but the price was out of my range. so I settled on this one for half (yes, half) of the price.

I brought it home (after a trip to Lowe's, of course) and I drilled 6 drainage holes in the bottom for drainage.

I filled the bin with 3 bags of lava rocks. I could have gone a different route, but I liked the weight of them. Other types will most likely do, but since we will (hopefully) move someday I wanted it to be lighter. (Although I guess it doesn't matter much as it keeps getting filled.)

I then laid a gardening"mesh" over the rocks. This would prevent any soil from seeping through while allowing the excess water to drain.

And then I filled it with soil. I used about 1 1/2 large bags. Enough to be at least 12" deep soil. Ethnie HAD to have her picture taken with our me "garden". And here you can gauge the size a little more.

I'm looking forward to planting in here. I was hoping to have it started by now, but due to stupid raccoons, and the fact that I hurt my back lifting those massive bags of rocks and soil it's going to have to wait a little bit. But I was sure proud of my accomplishment. :)

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

It's Been a While

Yes I'm aware that it's been over 2 months since I last wrote on here. But you know what? Nothing has really changed, hence the lack of posting. I keep waiting for something to happen to update, and I'll keep waiting. Until then you'll just have to sit tight. Sorry.

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

2014 Begins

Happy New Year
to one and all!!

A new year begins again! Can you believe that it's 2014 already? Now I just have to remember to write a 4 instead of a 3 on checks, papers, etc... Am I the only one that has difficulty with that in a new year? It can't be just me. But it's not just the simple writing of the date that gets me in every new year...

Every year I start with these grandiose resolutions of exercising 3+ times a week, or eating healthy all the time, or organizing everything that there is to organize. and on and on and on...  I'm always a sucker for this trap, and at the end of the year I wind up hating myself for not following through with my overly ambitious desires. Truth be told, I don't really forget about them. They're always in the back of my mind. It's just hard to focus all of that energy on myself when the kids are always needing something, or sick, or want to do something of their own. Now that's  the real trap. So this year I'm not going to fall into it (or least try my darndest).

This year I set the goal to focus on myself a little bit more. I'm going to take the time to improve myself without set limitations. Instead of going to the gym 3+ times a week, I'm just going to exercise however I can whether it be at the gym, at home cleaning, dancing around listening to music with my kids, or some exercise program on the gaming console. No limitations, just moving more. No reading the Book of Mormon in a set amount of days. If I can just open my scriptures, even for just one verse, every day, that'll be better than nothing. I also set a goal to read 20 books this year... Yes I have an actual number this year, but if I don't I won't actually pick out the reads and do it.

I'm going to fall in love with music, dancing, and art again! I'm so busy throwing on a show for the kids during the day and just trying to inch through that I don't focus on what I used to thrive on... What I used to live for! Through help with family this Christmas I was able to get in iPad. It actually has rekindled my desire to doodle and draft again. Just in five minutes pumping out a sketch I felt that love and desire again!

All of this, to me, is self-improvement. Once I can improve myself to a be in a place that I love, the rest will follow around me. And maybe this is all just a flying fancy, but I'm trying to be really determined this year. I need a better year than the last, so I'm going to make it so.

Friday, December 13, 2013


This is my orchid. Trent got it for me on our first anniversary. Almost 8 years later it still lives on. How? I have no clue. But as I was looking at it a thought occurred to me. I am this orchid. 

Its pot is not the nicest. It has long outgrown its warn down home. Sometimes I don't know if it will survive much longer as I see dying roots and leaves falling off. Looking closely, though, you can see a new stem coming out from the newer, greener leaves. Soon it will bloom again. Looking again you can also see many more roots digging deeper. Again I am reminded that I am this orchid. 

My home isn't the nicest. I've long outgrown our apartment. Sometimes I don't know if I'll survive this time in my life much longer. But every now and then I see a glimmer of something new coming. And then I get reminded how deep my roots run in my life- my family, my husband, my testimony in my Savior, Jesus Christ. 

I am this orchid. Sometimes seemingly fragile, but often more resilient than I give myself credit for. 

I am this orchid. 

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Funky Town!

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. It's hard to explain exactly how I feel because even I don't know how to explain it. So I'm going to be completely honest for a moment. I know lots of you come here to see photos of the family, or see all the fun happenings here, but I'm going to deviate for a moment.  I do this every now and then just to reflect on where I'm at, what's going on, and where I plan to go from here. So if you don't care to know what is going on inside my head, please feel free to tune out or go visit another more cheerful blog for the time being. And I'm not meaning that in a rude way. Seriously, I won't be offended if you don't want to read further.

A few months ago I did a post about living in the "now". And while I've been trying to focus on what I can control, I keep hitting speed bumps that throw me for a loop. Nothing major has happened, don't worry. But I guess the speed bump is the fact that nothing has happened. Does that make any sense? Or am I just rambling?  Nothing has changed. Same place, same situation, same issues. Still a stagnant life.

I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes wishing that you could be somewhat in my position. I'm sorry if my frustrations irk you, but I'm the type of person that loves change. In fact, I thrive on change! I relish in it! I like changing things around here and there. I want to rearrange my furniture, my decor, my living situation, etc... But, like I've said, nothing's changed. Well, except for the fact that we've far outgrown our little apartment. But I need to have faith, right?

Some things I've always had faith in and I've never wavered- The Gospel, the Church, my Savior Jesus Christ, God, Tithing- Faith in spades! But in timing? The future? How we're going to make it? I'm trying really hard to have faith in our current situation.  It's been one of my major struggles. And this all plays into another great weakness of mine-depression.

I've always suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. It's a hereditary thing, I guess. But lately it's been plaguing me more than I would like. The rational part of me says that there is no logical reason why I should be feeling this way. But my emotional being can't see reason. I feel helpless. I feel out of control. I feel abandoned in my time of need. I'm paddling out in the ocean without any sign of the horizon. I'm trapped in my own barrel of self-doubt, uncertainty, and loneliness. Why do I tell you this? Because I know that there are some people out in the world, possibly reading this right now, that feel the same way I do. Some people that can't express it for fear of retaliation or reproach.

Please forgive me for my ranting. I don't know why I just laid a lot out there. Why? Maybe just to get it off my chest. Perhaps to reach out for support from someone that'll understand. For whatever reason it is out there now. And thank you. I appreciate it if you stuck around for the entire post.

"Here's lookin' at you, kid."